The Reality of the Situation

I did a phone conference interview yesterday with a middle school principle and some of his staff. The position is for teaching 8th grade Core classes. It really sounds interesting, and I enjoyed learning about some of the programs and things going on at that school. Then, at the end of the interview, the principle offered me the job position. Wow! I didn't know I had impressed them that much. It's my first job offer, and I'm very happy and excited about it. At the same time, I'm a little apprehensive. I'd be teaching 8th grade, and while I'm not worried about my capability to do so, I don't have any experience with students younger than 10th grade.

Another aspect of this teaching position is the location. I've come to accept the reality that I would have to move a significant distance away from my family in order to secure a teaching position. The high school near my family’s residence rejected me on basis of my lack of teaching years. I didn't try the middle schools in the area thinking that I would have the same problem. I don't mind moving; I've come to accept it.

It's just going to be hard to start over again. I thought I had found a place in my parent's town because I started making friends and was becoming part of the community there. But after a few weeks away at Upward Bound, none of them have contacted me to see how I’ve been doing or anything. I know, out of sight, out of mind. It’s true. I just thought that I’d get a text or phone call asking how I was doing or informing me of how things are going on up there. Maybe starting over won’t be so bad.

After talking with my dad about the position at the location of the position, I’m inclined to follow it. He said that the location is pretty nice, and that some of his co-workers also thought it is a good community. The position’s contract should be for only one year, so I can always rethink my decision in a year if I don’t feel it’s working out. I’m not getting any bad vibes or feelings about taking this job; it’s just my own fears and apprehensions I feel.

Writing on the Wall

I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned the hard way that some poems don't rhyme and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end.

Returning

This weekend was jammed packed full of stuff for me. I decided to take my one Saturday and one Sunday off consecutively so that I could go back home and attend a meeting I had in Salt Lake and also teach a lesson for church. It was kinda weird returning back home after I had left (even though I was only gone two weeks). “Oh, aren’t you supposed to be gone?” was Terry’s response to seeing me at church yesterday. Thanks for making me feel special.

For Saturday, a group of us did have some fun in Salt Lake. We took the Frontrunner train down, and, in addition to the meeting, did a little shopping and sushi dinning. The only awkward part for me was how everyone in the groups was paired off. Alex and Ashley, Geoff and Mel. That left me and my friend, Vicky, who I brought along for the trip. The two couples sat in one group of four seats and cuddled while Vicky and I sat across the aisle. It was hard to carry on conversation with the way it was set up, so when it came time to leave, Vicky and I returned back to Brigham on our own. It’s really nothing against the other people in the group, and I hope they weren’t offended that was decided to return without them.

I can’t really say for sure, since my own relationship experience is zilch, but I wonder if when people get into relationships if they just forget or not know how to act around their single friends anymore. Do they not feel as awkward as I do when I see them cuddle and kiss and google over each other? It’s almost like they don’t realize that I’m there in the room anymore, and I think that’s what bothers me. I don’t mean to sound selfish; I understand that relationships require physical touch, and I’m okay with couples doing that. But must it be all the time? And must it be at times when single people have to witness it?

On Sunday, I returned to the movie set of “The Singles Ward”, oh, I mean, I went to church and gave my lesson in Relief Society. It sure looks like the ward has been infused with a plethora of young college students (Mostly girls. There goes my chance of meeting any dateable guys). It’s starting to remind me of the student wards I attended at SUU. I really enjoyed the atmosphere of the ward during the winter months when it felt like I knew everyone and we were friends. Now I hardly know anyone among the vast span of new faces.

So now I’ve returned to Upward Bound. My students were quite happy to see me, and it was fun talking to the other staff members about what had happened over the weekend. It sounded like they had a fun time camping and hiking. The girls had so much energy tonight and were literally bouncing off the walls dancing, chasing each other, etc. It’s kinda fun to see all that energy (and take part in a bit of it), even if they are hard to get to bed at times. I’m glad I’m here. I’m glad I’ve returned this summer to UB, even if it will be my last year.

A New Voice and a New Blog

I decided to join the rest of the world in this interesting phenomenon called blogging. I thought that along with regaining my ability to speak, I’d give myself an internet voice as well. That’s right. For those who didn’t know, I had laryngitis this past week. Not fun at all. I could hardly speak above a whisper, and it hurt to do so. I’m feeling a lot better now, but imagine me not being able to talk for the past couple days. (I can hear you giggle. You’re probably thinking that she talks too much. It’s true though.) The interesting thing was how I had to rely on other forms of communication to get my thoughts out. Sometimes this meant whispering to someone to announce something for me, waving my arms about, or crying. Okay, I wasn’t really crying. This cold that gave me laryngitis makes my eyes water so it just looks like I’m crying all the time. (Ask me how to deal with a belligerent Girls State Counselor when you can’t talk and you look like an emotional wreck.)

Anyway, why Reality Lost and Found? I’ve been thinking about a direction to take this blog, and what came to my mind was my take on reality. We tend to think of reality as that one thing everyone in the world is grounded in. Maybe to some extent that is the case, but reality is based on perspective as well. This blog is my perspective on reality.